I don’t know when I’ll post this, I might not ever. It's 11pm. 

Hey. Lately I’ve been confused (about nothing). My mind’s all over the place. I feel like Pinterest is driving me to insanity, I find quote and feeling pins and relate to them, stuff I should probably not be relating to. 
I feel like I haven’t been finding happiness in things I normally do. I think I need to go out into nature more, do some running, loose some weight, get fit, not die before in 30. 
The stress of school this year isn’t helping, starting my homework at five and still be doing it at 9 with only a ten minute break the whole time is wrecking my head, and then looking at the time and realising I have hardly any of my homework done even tho I’ve been doing it for four hours. I just don’t know how😭 We are less than a month in and state exams aren't until mid-June, the actual stress isn't even supposed to set in until at least mocks in February.

 Lately things that happened to me when I was younger that were pretty insignificant to my naive little mind seem to be a big deal right now. Here is a simple example, I know these people and we are all in a chat together and I kept referring to the as “people I know”, I just did it right there, my friend kept asking me why, saying “they’re your friends, we message them everyday!”. Only then did I start to wonder why I do it, I came to the conclusion that it was because when I was younger I had many ‘friends’ but none of them actually liked me. I’m not going to get into that too much I’ll bore you all to death. (This probably happened to loads of people and I’m just being an attention seeking bitch but it really bugging me and I just need to tell someone.) But like WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH. basically my friend decided to message them (we are all in a chat together) and ask them if they would call me their friend, while they said yes I’m still not sure. It’s not like they could say really no.

This was all over the place, I know and I haven’t posted in like two weeks, I’m just so unmotivated. I’m sorry.


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